News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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