We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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