look no pants
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
