ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
