We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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