I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
