Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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