Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
