then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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