You're completely useless in the revolution.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize