Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
