I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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