Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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