wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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