Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize