Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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