Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
