I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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