So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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