No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
