Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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