I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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