But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Quick, to the slutcave!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
