my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
