no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're my little dorito
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You are a genius and a whore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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