I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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