So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
