just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize