my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
