3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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