Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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