I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
