Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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