scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
