she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
