How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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