Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
