you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
