Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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