Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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