...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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