I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
