did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
