don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
