I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
