Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
