I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
