i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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