I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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