i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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