I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize