remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
