my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
