He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize