And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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