my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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