Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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