Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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