Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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