I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
