If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
