dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
