I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
