I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
