When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize