Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she peed on how many people?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
