He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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