We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
